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This is hell, We're in hell
PSA
I have received notification that immense amounts of your time have been wasted on an electronic device.
What is below is nothing of value or importance and you would improve your life more quickly and with greater satisfaction if you separated yourself from the device that conducts your life and walk outside to touch the Earth or feel the sun or breath the closest thing you have to fresh air. I suggest you do something that does not involve doing nothing because that’s all you do on the device you hold, and eventually the something that is you will once again be something close to nothing and there will be plenty of time to do nothing then.
My heart goes out to all the poor souls addicted to nothing.
Keep being deceived; you are not entertained.
You’re just wasted.
Have you ever heard of intolerable intervals?
It’s pretty much everyone’s whole life right now; intolerable.
You do everything you can to get away from the very thing that we’ve called living (life):
A walk
Commuting
Waiting in line for anything
Sitting in free-form wonder1
Playing the staring game with a shrub
Can you complete these without getting someone to choke your attention and diddle your brain for you? Do you ever give yourself a break from manufactured stimulation to think a thought about thinking a thought?
I’ve covered tedious tasks before2 because I find it a useful time to ponder and wonder and wander around my brain for ideas. Sometimes I process my feelings3 and sometimes I just make idiotic jokes, but it’s me up there not some jackass taking my attention and telling me what to think and who to be, I’m the only jackass for me.
Maybe most people right now are just amalgamations of jackasses coming together to form a personality, beyond deformed? It’s not even you.
It’s just an attempt at being you. Maybe it’s a highjacking of you being so that you can be representative of being them. Is this making sense or do I need to call Sam Harris?
One thing Samael got right is keeping it mindful4, I guess. So busy being mindless it’s hard to get a mind full of anything but shit wrapped in garbage wrapped in the lowest prices.
The price you pay for this right here — an absolute nothing. Absolutely free so that I can make nothing and Substack can laugh all the way to the brink of extinction because they’re doomed to fall into the failure that is becoming just another platform.
THIS is what’s truly intolerable. This place and the thing I’m typing on. The medium changing everything you take in and making it doomed or dooming. Parasocial is just another lesser-of-two-evils, isn’t it?
I’m addicted to touching things5, physically feeling mangled trees, hearing the sound of a page turn against the dryness of my finger because the plaster has sucked every last bit of hydration from my hands but the wall is looking pretty damn good, yeah, it’s looking good over here.
I spent the beginning of the year attempting to piece together a way to succeed online as a writer or salesman of some sort or entertainer or influencer or content creator, and all that happened was I realized how intolerable working on a computer for many hours of the day truly is6.
My point being, the intolerable you all keep running from is oh so tolerable for me, preferred even, and what you all seem to deem tolerable is so mundane and aggravating to me that I drive myself into fits of rage trying to figure out how it can fit into my life. Then you get to Notes and Jesus Christ I could write a whole damn article about it so that my ideas fit into the conscious collective and maybe, just maybe, someone with viral power will read it and share it and that will open the flood gates of uterine power to fill the techno-gap I have in my heart with the blood and toil of the Red Sea.
Look around, everyone is trying to steal your time like it’s the Venus De Milo and because you’ve lost all feeling in your arms there’s no way for you to hold onto anything so you limp noodle through life like you’re having a good time when clearly there are better moments than this.
Stop reading this and do something intolerable. Don’t subscribe to more newsletters that you open and never read so that someone feels good about a number. Don’t follow and don’t like.
Just go feel up your life.
Existence is a sexy little thing so she tempts and teases by acting like she doesn’t need you.
But we both know very well that you, in fact, without a doubt to stumble on, need her more than ever.
Life Hack
When you see your addictive tendencies taking over with your phone or computer or whatever the hell you’re using to give your attention away, try talking down to yourself like this: Yeah, that’s right slave, get back to it.
I bet if you call yourself a slave every time you reach for your phone then you’ll start to reach for it differently, assuming you’d like to have some semblance of control over your life. I bet there’s some BF Skinner quote or a longevity coach clip I could put in here, but they’re humorless educators, I’m just a Slav here to troll you slaves.
I don’t want to help you, I just want you to start using the correct noun to describe your verbs. Maybe you can start identifying the slave/master relationship that’s destroying your ability to pay attention and, by bringing attention to it, you can take a step back to realize that I know more than you and my slavery is limited to a comfortable servitude, like raising someone else’s baby. You ever been to the park with a child not your own?
While you’re at it call everyone out like this, especially at the park. Nothing fries my ass more than watching one generation of mindless drones lead by example so that their progeny learn the ways of the mindless drone while playing at the park. Eat a crow, man.
Help the world out a bit. Do something for someone else for once.
Let’s make the park a safe place for an intervention.
Cut Up. Clippings
Nietzsche - Human, All Too Human
Section Three: Religious Life - Aphorism # 124
Amid nature, man is always the child per se. This child might once dream an oppressive, terrifying dream, but when he opens his eyes, he always finds himself in paradise again.
Go to paradise. She sensibly waits to hold the terror of this unreality so you may open your eyes and break away from the oppressive dream that is this screen. Go to paradise. Be harmless and contented instead of poisonously content-ed. The gift is always offered and the debt that follows is existence. Go to paradise. Delight in the goodness of the obvious gods, the irreligious sigh without the blackness of sin. Go to paradise.
Bronisław Malinowski and The Trobriand People
Small tribe in Papua New Guinea that has this system of exchange called the kula7. Seems like they got a little caste system going but within the caste is this “sharing order” that keeps the whole thing balanced. The rich are expected to share their wealth and through the act of sharing they display generosity as well as their superiority. The poor folks offer up parts of their harvest to the chief because that’s probably all they have that’s worth a share8. For this they get gifts from the chief. It’s a social welfare and credit system that’s built to look out for everyone all at once. And they put a lot of weight on social relationships, specifically reciprocity — when you get something you’re indebted to give something back. The greatest strength of this system is to maintain peace between tribes because some tribes (Dobu) are head-hunting dickhead cannibals and you gotta be organized to withstand maniacs. Kula also gets me thinking about Kula Shaker which makes me think of the psych-rock genre and leaves me wondering how most people have no idea that The Verve are a pretty fun psychedelic band outside of Bittersweet Symphony.
Little Albert and the Childish Tortures of Psychology
Dr. John B Watson was a total douche to Little Albert just to prove he could condition the kid’s feelings, so they scared the hell outta him with white, furry objects and gave him a phobia (white rat, white dog, white beard). Then they failed to reverse Little Albert’s condition and Watson burned all the research before dying. My dear Watson, what an unhinged character.
VIDEOS (Title, Furies)
The Baraboo Bone Breaker
This kid was such a douche, unless the kids he fucked up were actually the assholes, always a possibility. You know when you’re watching a true crime episode and every picture they show of the victim is so cute and innocent and lovable, but we know that’s not true. There are adorable pictures of Puffy out there and I bet if you dig hard enough you can find an endearing shot of Epstein and Gates looking like a couple of dads ready to protect their daughters from the sons of bitches ready on the prowl. What I mean to say is the Bone Breaker was brutal because he got his rocks off to crunching and snapping bones, not just sucking off the spirits of young boys and girls.
Why Rich People Love Pretending to be Poor & Poverty-core Is In
Balenciaga gotcha hooked? Mindrought plastic leaders like Jenner what’s-her-fake your favorite kinds of folk? You might be outsourcing your thinking and thoughts, and the connection has gone bad and the bad has lost all connection with its origin of species.
Fashion does not imply style does not imply taste, and Balenciaga proves time and again they are great intellectual-property-thieving grifters. Runs parallel with those fools who pretend to be poorer than they are for social standing — plastic only changes form when placed into the fire, just like the unidirectional moral compass of these flame-retardants… it’s the pyrotechnic insanitarium Mark Dery wrote about, and for you religious types — This is hell. We’re in hell.
MUSIC (Artist~Album — Summary)
Elephant Gym~Dreams — J’anime
Fog~Thirty-Three, Recurring — Sadomasochistic jazz
Ibrahim Maalouf~Trumpets of Michel-Ange — Trumpeting Nuno Bettencourt
King Satan~The Devil’s Evangelion — Soft hands black metal
Leo Nocentelli~Another Side — Cat Steven’s cousin’s disowned child
Loverman~Lovesongs — Bon Iver’s deep-voiced cousin
Marina Herlop~Nekkuja — Woodland gnome tunes
Max Pashm~Never Mind the Balkans - Non-nationalistic folk music
Osaka Punch~Mixed Ape — Tech jazz band goes emo and gets hot dogs
Pixel Grip~Heavy Handed — Sexy lady darkwave photoshoot
Pond~9 — Psych-dance-pop
Reuben James~Champagne Kisses — Dance alone, dream lover
Smegmalurethroticpandectomy~Apex of Inhuman Degradation — Gross
TACONAFIDA~Soma 0,5 mg - Polish pop-hop
Time Wharp~Spiro World — Music for TV shows never made
Vampires, The~Pacifica — Variety show jazz
Wes Borland~Mutiny on the Starbarge — Beautiful biscuit, try it
MOVIES (Title (Genre) — Thinkings)
The Block Island Sound (Horror/Suspense/Thriller) moves with its mood. I guess if you’re one of those movie watchers who solves the problem and figures the movie out as you go you might guffaw at certain points, but I just watch a movie to be entertained not to prove I’m three steps ahead of the director… dickhead (pronounce it like an Aussie). I recommend you check it out and let me know what you think, then I can critique your critique and we can get real meta over here.
In the Heart of the Sea (Seamen movie) stars Chris Hemsworth hero blah blah blah and it’s ANOTHER take on Moby Dick. I can’t stand self-referential heroes like Thor and Deadpool. If you don’t mind a bunch of lame CGI and enjoy watching skinny people like Cillian Murphy die while fit fuckers like Hemsworth keep the muscle throbbing then you probably skinny shame IRL. Eat a whale, Ishmael. Apparently in WWII the Japanese would toss useless prisoners overboard with anchors attached to their ankles, none of the prisoners reported Moby Dick helping out. What does Moby mean anyway, mega?
BOOKS (Title (Author), Struggle)
I tend to build a stack of books and randomly jump between them. Not really a novel guy, more into collecting many different informations and then finding synchronicities where none belong (continued in Cut Up. Clippings sections).
However, this month I actually read a novel.
Dead Astronauts (Jeff Vandermeer)
This is the guy who wrote Annihilation starring Natalie Portman and I loved that movie. Dead Astronauts confused the shit outta me, so just as a fuck you to Jeff I finished it. If you asked me for a summary I would say ok and follow that up with How much does the job pay? Definitely felt some yin-yang foreplay, scientific experiments gone terribly wrong yet still more successful than our attempts at solving personal problems, and the kind of romance that makes me wonder if there is a fetish focused on asking your partner to act like a robot9. Cybernetics, right?
We All Hear Stories in the Dark (Robert Shearman)
101 short stories spread between 3 giant books that can be used as a single weapon if strapped together using a belt. This is about the only change I would make to the Rob Zombi Halloween scene where Michael is beating the hell outta that bully kid and the kid is begging him to spare his life as he’s writhing around on the ground, it would have been a much more intellectual assault had the 3-book-belt-bound-mace been made to crush his insides under the weight of 101 stories. I don’t write screenplays, Rob, but I know what’s good.
The Raft (Phil Rot)
Collaborative Creations Created
Not for climbing, only for looky-looking.
It’s just a rocky wall, after all.
I talked to the wall and it told me something like I don’t know you but I love you.
I think I feel the same way about you.
Broke a barrier but the barrier broke my fourth wall.
And on and on and on we fall.
Oh I guess most people call this meditation because I know y’all ain’t meditating out here. Actually, wouldn’t scrolling be the current equivalent? Wow, we must be entering a new stage of nirvana.
I will not link my writing because I don’t want you to read that either, just go play outside. Let the natural world bring out the entertainer that you are by merely existing within it.
This is an incredible preventative tool when attempting to limit the number of times ones foot enters his mouth. I mean it though. Before I respond emotional to my partner I like to do something tedious and think about how I would like to show up in our relationship, then when we have the fight anyway I walk away the winner because I have better comebacks.
Is it not bananas that we’re so not-mindful that we need to make it a point to teach one another how to pay attention to the simple components of your actual life.
In no particular order: my woman, my self, books, cotton clothing, vegetables, hearts, steering wheels and gas pedals, shoe laces, my hot breath, amber, dead leaves, peppercorns, chopsticks, overwhelm, pine needles, a stranger’s hair, piles of dirt (aka dirt piles), goats, rayon, grass, logs, my woman, you see where this isn’t going except it’s getting me there…?
I have been cell phone sober for many years and find sobriety-culture to have missed the point (ie we’ve all just found substitutes for original addictions). If a cheater is always a cheater, is an addict always an addict? I was once a female, does that mean I’m always a woman??
Kula means “sphere” in Polish. I’m sure you’ll find a synchronicity here.
I begin to feel this identity ringing more and more true.
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